I am always exploring reflection exercises that helps us examine our life narrative, purpose, lessons, and identities. The following is one of these exercises that emerged from a generative session with a client.
Side note: You do not need to be a Swiftie to mine the treasures of this tool. I am a Swiftie (let’s just get that out of the way.) And so, I’ve been thinking about Eras. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s okay. Just giving you context.
You can work this reflection exercise in an excel sheet on your computer (here is a template) or on a big piece of paper with colored markers. You may want to start fleshing it out in an excel and then get creative with doodles and colors on the big paper later.
You will need 11 columns across the top:
1. Eras (These are subdivision of your life marked by specific roles and identities.)
2. Age/s (How old were you during each era? Know that eras can overlap.)
3. Driving motivation (There is a lot written about human motivation. I encourage you to not look it up, and instead use your own compass. Ask yourself what you were looking for? What was your “why?”)
4. Description in >50 words (Tell the story of the era in 50 words or less.)
5. What did you learn? (I’m not talking academic learning. I mean what did you learn about being who were in that era?)
6. What you want to bring with you? (We get to choose who we are. What from that era is still relevant to who you are and want to be today?)
7. What you want to leave behind? (And just as we choose what we bring forward, what do you want to let go of?)
8. What you wished you would have known at the time? (This isn’t to beat yourself up. This is to give your former self compassion.)
9. Core value(s) (What values were awakened and/or tried that are still important to you today during this era?)
10. Gratitude to younger self (More compassion! If you could say something to your former self, what would you say? How would you thank them?)
11. a-ha's (I’d save this column for last. Look at the whole, and then come back to the individual eras. In the fullness of your life, what are epiphanies about each era?)
You can fill the grid out in several ways… There is no one right way to do this.
Chonological. Start with what you would call your “first era”. You don’t have to start with birth. Maybe you want to start there, but maybe not. And perhaps once you get going you want to identify all the eras before you fill in the rest of the columns.
Most powerful. Which era was most powerful, whatever that means to you? Maybe you start there?
Once you have the eras identified you can go by each column, or you can complete the entire row before moving on to the next era.
Adding columns. This is yours, so you get to decide how to expand it. Maybe you want to add geography, where you lived during that era? Maybe you want to add a favorite/ guiding song? Maybe you want to add names of your squad at that time.
The whole exercise will likely take you at a minimum of 2 hours if guided by someone who encourages generative story telling. I’ve been working on my own over the course of a week in 30-minute delicious spurts. Envisioning your next Era. And finally... What Era are you entering? And how do you want that to unfold? Cast that vision and charm that last row!
Feel free to use this tool however you like. If you’d like a companion, I give permission to share this with your spiritual director.
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