Even though I am not Jesuit, Ignatian spirituality has incredible influence on my spiritual life, and for that I am so grateful. One of the practices of the Jesuit order is to pray the Examen twice daily, at noon at at the end of the day, the goal being a discerning heart. There are many variations, and the core of it goes like this:
Center yourself. Become aware of God's presence.
Review the day with gratitude, paying attention to feelings and emotions
Consolation: when did you feel most connected to and guided by God?
Desolation: when did you feel most disconnected to God? Where did you fall short?
Invitation: what is your intention for the next day?
Ignition spirituality puts a great emphasis on feelings, believing that explorations of the heart lead to spiritual maturity, a deeper understanding of ourselves and our relationship with God. Initially the surrender to God that is required in this prayer can make one feel vulnerable. It is a spiritual practice, not a spiritual perfection. The more one makes this a part of their life, the more peace, trust, and even joy is conjured.
I encourage you to use a version of this spiritual tool to connect to your partner at the end of the day. I suggest three rounds: yourself, your partner, God. In whatever order makes sense for you:
Center yourself with three cleansing breaths. Bringing your awareness to the God of your understanding who is always with you.
Open your heart to gratitude and generosity of spirit as you make an inventory of your day.
1. Yourself
Consolation: When did you feel most connected to the person you desire to be?
Desolation: When did you feel most disconnected to the person you desire to be?
Invitation: What is your intention for tomorrow?
2. Your partner
Consolation: When did you feel most connected to your partner?
Desolation: When did you feel most disconnected to your partner?
Invitation: What is your intention for tomorrow?
3. God
Consolation: When did you feel most connected to God?
Desolation: When did you feel most disconnected to God?
Invitation: What is your intention for tomorrow?
Mingling of intentions: How do these three intentions overlap and/or inform each other?
Petitioning God: What do you need from God to live the tomorrow you desire to live?
Taking it to your dreams: Take three, deep centering breaths, relaxing into your sleep. As you surrender to sleep, also surrender to God's care for you and your partner. Release yourself to your dreams. The next morning, if anything came up in your dreams approach it with curiosity, perhaps journalling.
This is admittedly a long prayer process. It is one that you can do solo or with your partner. Over time it will bring deeper peace, purpose, and connect to yourself, your partner and God.