So often we drift through life with a vague notion that thing are a bit off, or they feel good, or there is a feeling of balance, but we don't know why. Rarely do we take the time to discern what our guiding values are and then align them into all we do.
I've developed some guiding questions to help you discern your guiding values, your compass.
I like using Brené Brown's list of values. Print those out and look them over. Are any values missing? Add them.
Grab some markers.
1. Circle the values that attract you.
2. Cross out the values that you want nothing to do with.
Sit with those for a bit. Where did you learn about those values? How did you learn to embody them? How do they live in you today? Those values that are crossed out, was that a response or a reaction? What's that about.
3. Choose 5 values most at risk in the world.
4. Choose 5 values that shine right now.
Sit quietly with this new information. What are those values telling you?
5. When do you feel your best self? What 5 values are incarnate within that? Mark those as you are inspired.
Sit back and look at your values sheet. Are there any patterns? Any wisdom rising?
Hopefully there are 3-5 values jumping out as possible guiding values for you. Write those on a piece of paper and put it where you will see it everyday. You could tape it to your bathroom mirror or set it on the kitchen windowsill. Notice how you live those values inform or inspire you throughout the week. Journal about them if you reflect that way. Take them to meditation.
Once you have 3 solid values that feel like a compass, you can use these as a litmus test. Imagine saying no to anything that is not connected to those values in order to say a solid, holy, resounding yes to the things that you value.
Try it out. Let me know how this process works for you!